2 Ways to Gather Positive Energy to Fulfill Your Goals in 2023

I am a New Years junkie. I get all excited with the opportunity for a fresh beginning. Most of us have goals we want to achieve; changes we want to make.  It’s our human nature to change and grow even if we’re not consciously aware of it. Working toward goals and making positive changes gives zest to our life. Goals like losing weight, exercising more, taking up a new hobby, doing a major project, connecting more with friends and family. The problem that many of us know too well with New Year’s resolutions, is that by the second or third week of January we’ve already given up on them. Why is that?

When I thought of writing this blog, my intention was to boost your positive energy around goal setting and goal fulfillment. I write for you what I need as well. Some goals are easier for us to make happen. Others we need extra confidence to tackle.

I have two simple practices to share that can help you jump start your 2023 with positive energy to support you in realizing your goals.

Practice #1 – Reflection on Your 2022 Accomplishments

Many of us accomplish much more than we realize. We make subtle positive changes we don’t even recognize. We’re so busy living, planning, and doing that we don’t usually pause and take stock of how successful our efforts have actually been. Pausing to reflect on our small and large accomplishments in 2022 can fuel our faith in ourselves that we can accomplish whatever it is we desire in this new year of positive possibilities. Here’s how I do it.

I open my journal to a fresh page and title it My Accomplishments in 2022. Any sheet of paper will do, or the computer, voice memo or notes on your phone, your choices for recording are unlimited.

I’m generous with myself about what I call an accomplishment. Developing a new positive habit (no matter how slight), ways I’ve helped others, fun experiences I’ve had, maintaining good habits, promises I’ve kept – basically any goal or change I’ve wanted to make.

Here’s some of mine that give me good energy:

·       I affirm and appreciate my husband, Gus daily to water our closeness with love

·       I don’t chastise myself for making mistakes anymore! (This one was huge. For all my positivity, I have an unrelenting inner critic.)

·       I consistently walk weekly with my friend Naomi and speak weekly to Lynnie in CA

·       I joined A Course in Miracles group of like-minded spiritual seekers and attend weekly meetings

·       I keep developing my coaching skills by reading books, took a course with Marcia Reynolds, and joined International Coaching Federation

·       I feel shy and awkward sharing in these groups but I do it anyway and have shared a lot more

·       I texted daily with my cousins and sister as support to our cousin Debbie who was battling cancer

·       I took a flamenco dance class for two semesters and was in a recital even though I felt inept

Looking over my list fuels faith in myself in regard to accomplishing personal goals. I can see I am making the people in my life a priority. That means a lot to me, because one of my goals for this new year is to reach out to people I think about but haven’t connected with in a long while.  

My other major goal for 2023 is developing my coaching/speaking practice to support others in being their strongest selves and creating their most love-filled lives. I have a lot of self-doubt around networking and marketing. Yet, seeing that I put myself out to join and participate in groups that matter to me, even though I was uncomfortable, boost my confidence that I can also get more comfortable marketing and networking. This is the gift of reflecting on the changes we’ve made that may be below our conscious awareness.

Practice #2 – Set Intentions

Once I’ve reflected on my growth in 2022, I write my major goal or intention on a notecard and post it where I will see it daily so that I saturate my consciousness with it. The goal statement is basically an affirmation that I write in the positive tense as though it’s already my reality. I include an uplifting feeling word to energize my faith in realizing my goal.

This is my intention/affirmation for 2023:

I feel so deeply gratified by my relationships and use my creative energies as a coach, speaker and writer to assist many open, motivated beings to live deeply fulfilling lives.

It is pinned to the drapes framing the window by my computer, taped to my bathroom mirror, and next to my bed.

There is amazing power to immersing your mind in repeating your goal/affirmation. Research shows that the subconscious believes whatever we feed it. As we repeatedly feed our subconscious our goal each time we gaze at our cards, we begin to feel as if it is already part of our life. We then are more inclined to take action to make it our reality. And, I have absolutely seen time and time again that the Universe supports us in lucky synchronicities to manifest our goal/affirmations.

Your Takeaways

1.     Do a reflection page on your accomplishments and personal changes in 2022. Write down every possible thing you can think of that you feel proud of. You will be amazed at all that you feel good energy about.  

2.     Review your list and reflect on what it confirms for you about your past success with your efforts. You may want to write a notecard as a reminder of the powers you bring to fulfilling this year’s goals.

3.     Create an intention/affirmation for your major goal in 2023. Include a feeling word that uplifts you and state it as if it’s already true beginning with the word I to own it.

4.     Write your intention/affirmation on an index card and post it in places you will read it daily. You are immersing your consciousness in believing whatever you want is possible.

5.     Act on your goal with ease and pleasure.

I would love to hear some of your accomplishments in 2022 that give you confidence and pride! We are in this together. I’d also love to hear what your goal intention is for 2023. I may be able to support you! Best, best of luck! You got this!!!

Want help kickstarting your goals for 2023? I’m offering a special coaching package for 6 sessions discounted for my readers! Email me at gail@uppcoach.com or text me at 609-306-4557.

Have You Been Shoulding on Yourself? A Fresh Perspective on How Your Words Affect You

We’re having a new closet system put into our walk-in closet next week. I just got so sick of seeing the piles of clothing on the floor, and the shelves overflowing to the ceiling, that I said, “Gail, make the investment!” In the process my husband Gus and I have given away at least 10 big black garbage bags of clothing and it feels so good! As we looked at item by item, I thought of Marie Kondo, the famed declutterer, and her simple statement “Does it spark joy?” It was just so clear which clothes didn’t bring us good energy.

Clothes shedding made me think of another purge I’ve been engaged in, inwardly. The purge of words. A while back I read a book, in which a particular idea stuck with me—our words create our reality. I’ve pondered this quite a bit. The words we use to describe ourselves, our home, our loved ones, our work, our health… shape how we see our life, and what’s more how we live our life.

How Our Words Create Our Reality

I know this is true when I think about how specific words I say make me feel. One of my debilitating words is, “It’s hard for me to do.” That is my old go-to statement I make when I’m learning something new that’s challenging me. When I say it’s hard, I feel like a helpless child or a limp ragdoll. It literally drains me of all the strength and motivation I need for my challenge.

Research says, words resonate in our body as thoughts do. When we use a word, we’re in effect ingesting them into our system. Like food, our words can nourish or poison us. In a sense our words become our biology and affect us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

My word purge began organically with a simple verb—SHOULD.  When I hear myself say things like, “I should exercise…,” “I should get off the phone…,” “I should go to bed by 9:45…,” “I should make dinner…” I feel drained and almost like a child having a tantrum beating their fists on the floor screaming, “but I don’t want to!”  Should is a word that summons guilt. It reminds us of the commitments we are trying to keep to ourselves, but that we just don’t feel like doing in the moment! Isn’t that so true of so many of our best habits. We know our habits are good for us, or necessary to be good to our loved ones, but we don’t always feel the motivation to do them.

From this perspective should guides us to do healthy positive behaviors. The problem is it’s like a parent with the best intentions, who criticizes their child to motivate them to be their best selves. The child ends up feeling bad about themselves and may even do the opposite. Guilt drains our energy. Which may make it even harder to act on our good intentions. And as neuroscience explains, when we feel the emotion of guilt it triggers a well-worn path in our brains of other experiences of guilt, flooding us with disempowering thoughts and memories.

Here's an alternative to should and guilt. When you hear yourself say, I should…, stop yourself in your tracks, and say, I get to… or I want to… or I will. Here’s what it would sound like:

·       I get to exercise…

·       I want to go to bed by 9:45…

·       I will make dinner…

These alternative phrases remind you of the privilege and opportunity it is to do the things you care about and are committed to even when you don’t feel like it. It’s a positive internal shift of perspective on our commitments to ourselves and our dear ones.

For me it’s a wonderful empowering shake-up. Yes, Gail, how lucky you are to get to exercise. You have the time, the health, it energizes you, and keeps your weight in check! Try it and see for yourself.

Your Takeaways

1.     Notice the energy zapping word you want to replace. Besides should, it might be have to, must, ought to.

2.     Play a game with yourself and each time you hear your disempowering word in your spoken or inner language, stop it in its tracks! You might say to it, STOP, don’t go there!

3.     Replace your energy zapping word with an empowering word, like I get to, I want to, or I will.

4.     Recognize you’re reprogramming your mind, body, emotions and spirit by a word choice that opens positive energy to flow through you.

WHY NOT take control of your well-being with a healthy word choice diet!

I have a small request. If you read my blog and enjoy any part of it, could you send me a comment? One line would be fine! I write with the intent to support you and all my readers in living your most positive healthy life. I’d love to know if I’m making a difference. Thanks much, I so appreciate you are out there and we are connected in beinging our best and spreading the best in our world together!

Seeing The Bigger Picture: How to Access it When You Mess Up

Can you think back to a time when you messed up bad on something that you committed a lot of time and care to? Something really important to you.

Well, I recently messed up big time and I’m hoping my story will give you the gift it gave me. My mess up has to do with myself alone, and yours may even have to do with other people, but the wisdom to be had applies either way.  

I forgot to meditate! Big deal you might say. But I forgot to meditate after meditating for 1195 days in a row! That’s 3 and 1/3 years in a row! It might not sound earth shattering in the big picture of life, but my back story will show you why it means so much to me.

I had meditated frustratedly on and off over the past 40 years never with any consistency. It was using the Insight Timer Meditation app that supported me in building my habit. The Timer tracks our daily meditation. For every 10 days in a row, you get a star. The teacher in me loves the stars (I’m being honest), and the competitive part of me saw that many other meditators on the app were consistent, so I was going to be consistent, too! Before this mess up, I had meditated 230 days in a row and missed it at the stroke of 12:01 AM on vacation! I was determined to never let that happen again. And I didn’t for 3 and ½ years till…NOW.

See the Big Picture

“Gus I’m in shock! I didn’t meditate yesterday!” I sinkingly announced staring at the #1 on top of my app meditation tracking screen.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I know how much your record means to you. What happened?”

“I guess I was so tired rushing to my 8:00 AM zoom meeting followed by coaching right afterwards, that it didn’t register that I hadn’t meditated.”

Ever the man of wisdom and perspective, Gus reminded me, “It’s more than the numbers. Think of all the good things you got meditating those 3 plus years.”

That was exactly what I needed to hear to shift out of my despair. God bless that husband of mine!

Though I felt the blame game bubbling to the surface, ready to blame myself …the zoom meeting group… my client, I stopped those useless feeling in their tracks. It’s OK Gailie. You’ve done your darndest to be consistent, I whispered to myself gently and empathically. Then I reflected on my husband’s brilliant, simple reminder: What’s most important here?

Though I’ve been so proud of my ever-growing consistent habit, it’s the benefits of the habit that matter most. When challenged with a major disappointment, meditation has supported me in not overreacting and speaking kindly to myself as I would to anyone else.

My calamity inspires me to shift to BIG PICTURE insight. Though my dear record is broken, I still have a continuing record of 1576 days and 180 stars to be proud of. Oh, the ways we’re prodded to think out of the box to feel better!

How about you? What have you messed up on lately? Something you said that caused a rift in a relationship? Some bad judgment on a decision? Not taking an action you wish you had? Here’s some takeaways to help you gain perspective to keep moving forward.

Your Takeaways

1.     Forgive yourself for messing up and being human. When we do something that disappoints ourselves or another person, the first step that’s key is to forgive. To err is human. Judgment and blame zap our energy from taking a next positive step.

2.     Speak with empathy and kindness to yourself. We have a continuous inner dialogue going on. The way we speak to ourselves impacts if we spiral out of control with negativity or stop the disappointment in its tracks. Speak to yourself  with the kindness and comfort you would give a child or your dearest loved one.

3.     Reframe negative thoughts about your mess-up. This is a coaching perspective. When our negative feelings begin to spiral, we tend to develop black and white thinking. It’s all bad. That is viewing your situation from a limited perspective. A reframe is seeing the positive that exists amidst the disappointment or challenge. In my case I reframed the thought, I ruined my meditating record, to I still have the daily habit and I know I have a total of 1576 days and counting.

4.     See the big picture. When you recognize a definite mess up, ask yourself what’s most important here? Or What matters most? Or What can I learn from this situation? These questions help us shift from our emotions to our higher self-perspective, where our wisdom lies. Seeing the bigger picture enables us to look  to the future and see the possibilities to take positive action.

5.     Make amends. If your mess-up involved another person, once you’ve gotten perspective on your part in causing the hurt or misunderstanding, take responsibility, own what you did, and if appropriate say you’re sorry.

Each of these steps are about moving forward in a positive direction.

What better support to see the bigger picture than The Serenity Prayer.

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

Would you like some help seeing the bigger perspective? Contact me for a free 1-hour coaching session to help you begin the process of accepting mess-ups and your humanity. gail@uppcoach.com That stands for Unleash Your Positive Possibilities. Check out my website as well, www.uppcoach.com