Reset, Rethink, Regather

For days I had called BJ’s to see if their shipment for Fiji water was in. I had made two trips for naught, and a manager kindly suggested I call rather than make another wasted trip.

“They’re in,” said Meghan. “How many cases would you like me to pull for you?”

“Three would be great. You’re a darling!” I effused.

In the store, with my three cases of precious alkaline water (recommended by the Ayurvedic practitioner helping me to heal digestive issues) I asked Meghan one more favor.

“Could you please find someone to help me put the Fiji water cases into my car.”

“Sure no problem. There he is. Anthony, please help this lady get her purchases to the car.”

What a delightful surprise I received at 8:45 AM.

“Good morning Miss! And how are you on this blessed day?” he asked. His whole face smiled, even though partially covered by his light blue paper mask.

“How beautiful it is to be greeted with such positivity so early in the morning!”

“Well, it’s TGIF and as long as I am here and can work it’s a great day.”

Wow, I thought, such a precious young man he is. I want to let him know that his good energy is a gift to others.

As we walked together to my car I asked, “Anthony, how did you get to become such a positive person?”

“Well it’s just my spirit I’d say.”

“Tell me more about the influences in your life,” (I was using my newly learned coaching skills.)

“Well. I had no father and was raised by my mother. She taught my brother and me that if we work hard and always be the best person we can be things will work out.”

“Tell me your visions for your life,” I say.  In our brief connection, I wanted to support this young man in fulfilling his dreams.

“My brother and I are starting small selling our own home cooked chicken. McDonald’s started small and look where they are now,” he said exuberantly. “When I get discouraged I just say to myself, RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.”

“Wow! That’s such a positive phrase, tell me more.”

“I reset my mind on my dream, I rethink what I need to do to get there, and I regather my energy to keep moving forward.”

“Anthony what a positive mindset you have! With your vision and heart I can see you fulfilling your dream. For your help and inspiring tip, I’d love to give you a tip.”

We each left touched.

Anthony’s Tip in Action

I’m writing this blog with immediacy. Anthony’s mantra is a great way to refocus ourselves when our spirits are down. RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.

I went home and wrote those 3 R’s on a notecard and pinned it on a drape by my writing desk to absorb into my psyche. A new tool for my mental toolbox.

Here’s a way I used Anthony’s 3 R’s a couple of days later.

Listening to a coaching video on YouTube, I learned that it’s best to differentiate a niche or specialty for the services you offer. That’s so tricky! My specialty is in helping others connect in their relationships more deeply, as I wrote about in my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good. But as a friend pointed out, calling myself a relationship coach sounds like I’m a marital coach. Not the limitation I want. Darn! Unwanted adrenalin pumped in my stomach and my heart fluttered disturbingly. My trigger, an overwhelm response, kicked in, but….thanks to Anthony’s mantra I regathered myself.

Ok, Gail. Reset your thoughts on the big picture that you will be helping people with the wonderful coaching skills you’re learning. You can rethink your niche by doing research on the many coaching specialties there are and find what seems to be a good match with your skills and expertise.

Breathe in…breathe out.

Ahhhhh, I feel so much better. The pause to reset my attention on what mattered and what I could do, was just what I needed to regather my positive, forward moving energy.

Your Takeaways

• Being mindful of our emotions creates an opportunity for us to regather our energy and focus it positively.

• Having a mantra whether it be Anthony’s reset, rethink, regather or your own favorite, is a useful tool for shifting our mind frame and our emotions.

• Hanging a notecard with your mind-shifting mantra where you will see it often will help you internalize it so it’s right there in your thoughts when you need it.

Isn’t it exciting to recognize we have the power to manage our thoughts and feelings!

If you enjoyed this blog, my book The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, expands upon how to bring positivity to our relationships and life. It’s available at Amazon.

And why not become a blog subscriber? Fill in your name and email at the end of the page and my blog will be delivered to you every two weeks.

3 R's for Thriving During Corona Virus Times

Friends – I’m sharing a blog I wrote for my friends Sue OConnor and Randy Lumia’s Paradise Workplace Solutions website. They wanted some tips to help people who are now working from home. I had you in mind as well as I was writing it. Hope you find a nugget in it to make your days more normal and bright!

Life as it is now, for every single one of us, is something we’ve never encountered before. We’re unsure how long our quarantined lifestyle will continue, we’re missing the freedom of freely going places, and mostly, we’re missing being with all the people we love and care about.

We will get through this, but like every challenge we face, we need a plan and framework to guide us. Here’s my approach for living in confinement to still feel like myself. I call it, the 3 R’s for Thriving During Corona Virus Times.  

1. Resources (Inner):

We need to take care of ourselves, so that we have the energy and positive mind frame to feel capable of handling the new stresses in our life, and to be there for the people who are relying on us. This means paying attention to our needs physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself, when can I steal even thirty minutes for me?  The beginning or end of the day are good times to carve out for yourself. Here are some things I do that enable me to feel inwardly balanced.

• Physically: It’s really important to get exercise. Most of us had exercise routines before the coronavirus, and we know what a stress reliever it is and how good it makes us feel mentally and emotionally. I did Jazzercize and Pilates and both programs have offered me online options that I’m taking advantage of.  Here’s one link to many free online options.

Get outside in the sun and fresh air daily, even for 15 minutes. Being in nature is so healing. My husband and I have begun sitting on our front stoop watching the sunset and enjoying the robins, wrens, and rabbits that make their home in the huge pine tree on our front lawn. In the 17 years we’ve lived in our home, we never knew we had such wonderful natural entertainment!

•   Mentally/Emotionally:  Our mind and emotions go hand in hand. Aside from reading, watching TV series’, and doing puzzles of some kind (my husband and I are doing jigsaw puzzles, a first since we’re married), there’s two biggies I do that nourish my mind and heart.

First, I have a daily gratitude practice. Focusing on all the good things we still do have in our life lifts our spirits. Research has shown not only does gratitude reduce stress, but it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. I give thanks now for having my safe comfortable home to live in, running water, the technology to stay connected with loved ones, the greenness of nature.

Second, I use positive self-talk. Throughout my day I applaud myself for efforts, “You put makeup on today to feel like yourself. I’m proud of you.” And I speak kindly to myself for screw-up’s, “It’s OK you went into fear mode again. It’s understandable after listening to the news.” If you can master these two practices during these extreme times, they can literally transform your life when things return to ‘normal’.

• Spiritually: A meditation practice trains our mind and emotions to not be reactive, and enables us to be more present-moment-focused (which can help us not get caught in gloomy future thoughts.) Research says meditation is a natural stress stabilizer and increases happiness. Who doesn’t want more of that now! I use the Insight Timer to meditate. I love it because there’s guided meditation, music and a timer to set my own background sounds. It gives me a structure and even rewards me with stars for every 10 days meditating. I’ve meditated 340 days in a row and I’m proud of it!

2. Routines:

A very comforting article I read at the start of our quarantine was by Scott Kelly, the astronaut. He gave tips for living in isolation, as he did in space for a year. The first on his list was routines. Before our homebound life we had a routine that gave us order and a sense of control. Though we know how important routines are we may not have consciously created one yet. Creating a routine will help everyone in your family live better in the new normal. I follow most of the same schedule as before, except now when I would have met friends for lunch or dinner, I call, Face Time, or Zoom to feel like we’re together. Which leads me to…

3. Relationships:

The focus of my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good is how to form and maintain the kind of strong, healthy relationships that lead to a happy, fulfilling life. Through personal stories and research I show readers that when we look with eyes for the best in others and are generous enough to tell them, we bring a flow of love and care to our relationships that brings the joy and connection we all are looking for.

Though we can’t be physically with most of our family and friends, we can reach out to them and let them know how much they mean to us. I’ve committed to doing just that. Each day I speak to 3 people and before the conversation is over, I tell them something I love or appreciate about them and how much our relationship means to me.

The other day my son, Theo’s best friend, Wes, was helping me (via Face Time and computer sharing) learn to send group emails on my book. I said to him, “I can’t thank you enough for pointing out to me that I really am getting how to do this. You are such a wonderful teacher. You patiently explained how the program works and had me practice the skills myself. Not only am I grateful Theo has you, I’m so lucky to have you, too!” Wes, affirmed me back, and we shared a moment of heart-warming connection. Though being affirmed back feels wonderful, each time I affirm someone I feel the love.

Why not consciously take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?

Why not be sure to have daily and weekly routines?

And finally, Why not reach out to your loved ones and everyone in your life to share the love?

Wishing you and your loved ones health, safety, and a positive mindset to create moments of joy!